The Power, The Chaos And My Emotional Spiral. Passive Emoji Use In Everyday Life

By John Caldwell, CEO of RWR Group

Somewhere along the way, emojis became emotional shorthand. A quick flick of the thumb. A neat little icon that saves us a few seconds and, allegedly, conveys a world of meaning. Except half the time, they convey the wrong world of meaning, and we don’t realise it until we’re knee-deep in awkwardness, wondering why someone suddenly hates us.

My personal favourite culprit? The thumbs-up emoji.

If you send me a thumbs-up, my first instinct is: you’re annoyed. Or dismissive. Or both. My brain immediately goes into forensic mode. “What did I say?” “Why is this person suddenly giving me Year 9 energy?” “Have I accidentally offended them, or are they just over it?”

And here’s the twist: I only assume that because I do it too. Not necessarily when I’m angry, just when I can’t be bothered writing a proper reply or I’m slightly frustrated and don’t trust myself to type anything diplomatic. So I shoot off a thumbs-up. Other times, I genuinely mean “Great work” or “Perfect, thank you”.

Same emoji. Completely different emotional intent. No wonder it’s chaos.

That’s really the whole point: emojis have become these odd little emotional landmines. We use them inconsistently, and everyone interprets them differently. It's a perfect recipe for mixed messages.

At work, where tone is already tricky, it’s even messier. You wouldn’t sit in a meeting, stare down someone who’s irritating you, stay completely silent and just raise your thumb like some passive-aggressive Roman emperor. So why do we think the digital version lands any better?

And it’s not just emojis. We’ve developed a whole toolkit of accidental micro-aggressions and misunderstood signals.

There’s the single-word “Sure.”, with the full stop, which somehow carries more attitude than a teenager in a shopping centre. 

There’s the rogue ellipsis “…”, which reads like someone is quietly plotting your demise.

There’s the accidental double-heart reaction that instantly makes everyone uncomfortable.

There’s the smiley face that doesn’t look like a smile at all but more like a warning

There’s the classic “K”, the universal sign for “I’m done with this conversation; please leave me alone”.

And of course, the deadly combination: a thumbs-up with a full stop, which might as well be a formal declaration of war.

Clients, candidates, colleagues, we’ve all felt it. We all read into it. And because we all bring different histories and habits to the table, what feels neutral to you might feel hostile to someone else. What feels efficient to you might feel dismissive to them.

It’s funny, until it’s not. Micro-miscommunications add up. They erode trust. They create unnecessary friction. And in a fast-moving work environment, especially in recruitment where nuance matters, clarity is a competitive advantage.

The truth is, we rely on shortcuts because life is busy. But emotional shortcuts come with a cost. Emojis aren’t the problem; our lack of awareness is. The lazy assumption that everyone reads tone the way we do is where things fall apart.

So here’s my two cents: use emojis, use shorthand, use whatever keeps you sane, but don’t let it replace actual communication. Double-check your tone. Think about how something might land. Add five extra words if it protects a relationship. Emotional intelligence beats efficiency every day of the week.

And for the record, if you send me a thumbs-up after reading this, I’m choosing to believe it’s the genuine kind.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Fine… just don’t put a full stop after it.